Ok so i might aswell admit it ...... over the last 24 hours i've committed CARBICIDE and i am REALLY pissed off at myself about it.
I hope you all know what carbicide is?! If not here's my definition .... EATING EVERY BAD CARB WITHIN REACH ......
My sundays used to be filled with sunday partying and 29 tequilas and 98 strawberry ciders, and now well i eat carbs ..... ok not every sunday, and not all carbs are bad for you, but i'm feeling really annoyed at myself for yesterdays boredom performance of Carbicide ......
I ate Couscous, 2 Croissants smothered in Jam and a quorn sausage sandwich ...... oh and a cookies and cream cupcake ..... FAT PERSON IS THAT YAAAAAOU?! haha it was yesterday!
Now anyone who knows me or reads these pointlessish blogs of mine knows that i've been on a bit of a crusade this year trying to learn about food and make myself healthy in mind and body - which is slowly starting to work - my mind is defo healthier and i actually am early for work these days, still not quite there on the body - but rome wasn't built in a day ......... sorry i digress here i need to get back to the point i'm trying to make .......
So due to the fact i was scoffing all the bad carbs in the world, infact made me the worlds most lethargic person in the world yesterday, and today if i'm completely honest also, but when i woke up this morning i decided i wanted to wear my high waisted trousers to work, which on Friday i might add when i tried them on felt LOOSE actually felt tight around my michelin esque stomach ..... the result / consequence of Sunday Carbicide .... SO i then stand there decide to suffer it and wear them to work, on the promise to myself i'm going straight to the Gym after work to give myself a powerful cardio work out ......... (I'm laughing really loudly right now about this as that is the biggest joke of the day)
Work well that was a little bit good today .... only gone and got myself a meeting at one of the 3 hotels we're going after, so the hardwork and effort i've been putting in might actually pay off slightly, so i spent most of the afternoon being a complete social networking whore on linkedin and doing some other research and turns out might have got another client on board too .... happy days ...... Although work was dead quiet, i feel like i've achieved a fair bit today, with ground work on potential clients, and managed to get a stupidly good deal agreed on Business Cards for people today, Dad has been more than up for doing some deals for twitter and linkedin etc ..... WORK TALK OVER ... BORED OF IT NOW .....
So then .... GYM TIME .... what an effing let down ..... couldn't run on the treadmill, had no capacity to do any press ups (or my attempt at press ups due to having no muscle in my upper body) i managed about 5 minutes on the x-trainer .... actually SHAMEFUL ..... i'm embarassed at myself right now .... i see my PT working one of his other clients and he's all smiles and waves at me thinking probably 'oh look clair's here working out' 'If only he knew the truth?! I literally was 20% in that gym tonight ..... So what do i put this down too ..... CARBICIDE ........ If i hadn't swayed off the protein, good carbs in small doses eating lifestyle that is now like my mantra i think my energy levels would of been normal ....... So not only am i seeeeeething at myself for the binge, i also have had no sastisfaction out of it ..... Factually all those hideous carbs are bad for you .... i eat it for one day and i feel like i've undone 6 months worth of good .....
Don't get me wrong, i am NOT perfect 100% of the time, i'd say 75% of the time i am bang on perfect - but i never eat like that and now i know why ..... i've spent so long learning about food, diet and nutrition from my PT that i made some serious choices about how i was going to eat and work out for the future and i can honestly say that all day today i've felt sluggish and lacked the energy that i normally have ...... So tomorrow i've got a PT sesh and i've texted him to tell him that he must destroy me tomorrow, and i'm having a serious word with myself about straying off the path again on a sunday .... Maybe i need to go back to sunday raving down brick lane where eating really is cheating?!
Have a loverrrrrly week
Big Kiss x
Monday, 11 July 2011
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Take That in the Dirty 30's
Oh Hellllllooooooo Blog World you've not heard from me in a while, well infact not since i've been 30 years old to be honest & well i dunno why really i've been quite side tracked of late being really good and all that but i've had a lovely week so far so thought i'd share a few thoughts and tell you all a thing or 2 about whats been happening!
So in a nutshell - NOTHING .... Since turning 30 and being sensible and all that, i haven't half got old and boring! Infact in this week i've been to Fabric and Take That at Wembley and since my 30th birthday thats been the most exciting 2 things to have happened to me!
I now live in Wanstead which is bloody amazing, settled into the new house, skinted myself out - as you do - not really living the dream but I will keep telling myself that at some point i won't be a skint member and i will get to enjoy some of the fun things that every self respecting 30 year old woman should be.
Now then ...... Lets give you my thoughts on the highlight of my week / my 30th year so far ..... Take That at Wembley on Tuesday, as a 5 piece ...... Cliff notes : I prefer Take That as a 4 and Robbie on his own .... BUT it was the stuff dreams are made of - the 11 year old inside of me was giddy all day in anticipation!
Rocking up to Wembley by 8am, to queue for 12 hours might have seemed a little bit drastic but when your a veteran at these standing ticket affairs and have always been down the front, you know you need to be there early with the hardcore 'take thatters' haha - did i really just say that?! 'take thatters' .... yeaaah i did! So there we gets and theres about 70 people in front of us - which i think is pretty good, admiteddly there is 5 entrances to Wembley but each que was approximately the same ..... Everyone was in great spirits and like all these things you get chatting to those other hardcore 'i love robbie the most' fans haha ..... The security team were brilliant - walking round chatting to everyone explaining how they were going to get us in the turnstiles and condensing the que's and i have to say it was extremely organised - nobody went to ott with the pushing and que jumping and when we were finally taken up to the turnstiles it was so quick, i was so impressed!
So the sun was shining the weather was sweeeeet for the majority of the day, i've got some uber amazingly embarassing tan lines on my back from the top I was wearing, fuck knows how i'm ever gonna even them up ..... And then what happened, in typical English fashion down came the rain and it rained non stop for the duration of the time i was in the stadium .... only in England folks can you get sunburn and a cold all in the same day! To say i was drenched was an understatement.
Still ...... I really can't fault Take That, or Robbie for that matter, as thats the thing that I still find a little strange ...... good strange but strange nevertheless and for all those who've been or don't mind me talking about it i found it ever so slightly strange that the first appearance of TT was as a 4 piece and then 30 mins or so later along came Robbie, alone ...... so from the off for me it didn't feel like the original TT ..... however i can't deny the 11 year old inside of me was absolutely in awe and smiling for about 3 hours because when the 5 of them were on stage it had felt like all my christmases had come at once! It was brilliant when they performed as a 5 and did the old and new stuff .... literally sang my heart out all night long!!!!
Jason Orange - SORT ...... He has defo got better with age, like any great fine wine :-)))) i've always had the biggest soft spot for Howard and wow ...... i still have, i am very much a Williams fan but seriously TT as men nearing their 40's are smouldering HOT ..... No wonder all the 40 something women were fighting like cat and dog to be hanging over the railings .....
I did however find it a little excessive that 2 women were wearing t-shirts which said 'Robbie smash my back doors in' (with an arrow point to their backside) and one that said the same with Gary's name instead ........ Sorry but people really should be growing old gracefully ..... or not as the case may be?! I hate to say this but overall it was proper chavvy - just from looking around at the 80k + women there ......
I think my favourite moment was Relight My Fire - it was pure uptempo dancing, i've not smiled like that in a long long time and they are amazing and i'm glad i've been able to be a part of the reunion because i very much doubt TT will be doing that again as a 5 piece so it felt like that was a final piece to the puzzle ..... I think it was amazing they all sang No Regrets together too, i think it proves that they have really made up and they all are a family again
Wembley is phenomenal ..... including the prices for everything there! I was impressed with it all and i think i'd like very much to go back again and watch some kinda football match there, so if anyone ever wants to take me feel free, cos i'd be right up for going!
It was a great night, i was shattered by the end of it, the dedication for queueing for 12 + hours took its toll on me, and i've still not really recovered, or could that be a multitude of raving all night at fabric til gone 9am, and then a really long tuesday ..... Either way, this has been the most exciting few days i've had in my 'Dirty 30's' - which people are more pipe and slippers than dirty 30's .... but as the saying goes 'Things Can Only Get Better' so lets hope the 30's get slightly more interesting and give the 20's a run for their money!
Thats me done for tonight! Much Love Kisses and all that vajazzle
Me x
PS heres a little video from Take That
http://www.youtube.com/user/ClairBeSomebody#p/a/u/2/fa6fl4WQBiU
So in a nutshell - NOTHING .... Since turning 30 and being sensible and all that, i haven't half got old and boring! Infact in this week i've been to Fabric and Take That at Wembley and since my 30th birthday thats been the most exciting 2 things to have happened to me!
I now live in Wanstead which is bloody amazing, settled into the new house, skinted myself out - as you do - not really living the dream but I will keep telling myself that at some point i won't be a skint member and i will get to enjoy some of the fun things that every self respecting 30 year old woman should be.
Now then ...... Lets give you my thoughts on the highlight of my week / my 30th year so far ..... Take That at Wembley on Tuesday, as a 5 piece ...... Cliff notes : I prefer Take That as a 4 and Robbie on his own .... BUT it was the stuff dreams are made of - the 11 year old inside of me was giddy all day in anticipation!
Rocking up to Wembley by 8am, to queue for 12 hours might have seemed a little bit drastic but when your a veteran at these standing ticket affairs and have always been down the front, you know you need to be there early with the hardcore 'take thatters' haha - did i really just say that?! 'take thatters' .... yeaaah i did! So there we gets and theres about 70 people in front of us - which i think is pretty good, admiteddly there is 5 entrances to Wembley but each que was approximately the same ..... Everyone was in great spirits and like all these things you get chatting to those other hardcore 'i love robbie the most' fans haha ..... The security team were brilliant - walking round chatting to everyone explaining how they were going to get us in the turnstiles and condensing the que's and i have to say it was extremely organised - nobody went to ott with the pushing and que jumping and when we were finally taken up to the turnstiles it was so quick, i was so impressed!
So the sun was shining the weather was sweeeeet for the majority of the day, i've got some uber amazingly embarassing tan lines on my back from the top I was wearing, fuck knows how i'm ever gonna even them up ..... And then what happened, in typical English fashion down came the rain and it rained non stop for the duration of the time i was in the stadium .... only in England folks can you get sunburn and a cold all in the same day! To say i was drenched was an understatement.
Still ...... I really can't fault Take That, or Robbie for that matter, as thats the thing that I still find a little strange ...... good strange but strange nevertheless and for all those who've been or don't mind me talking about it i found it ever so slightly strange that the first appearance of TT was as a 4 piece and then 30 mins or so later along came Robbie, alone ...... so from the off for me it didn't feel like the original TT ..... however i can't deny the 11 year old inside of me was absolutely in awe and smiling for about 3 hours because when the 5 of them were on stage it had felt like all my christmases had come at once! It was brilliant when they performed as a 5 and did the old and new stuff .... literally sang my heart out all night long!!!!
Jason Orange - SORT ...... He has defo got better with age, like any great fine wine :-)))) i've always had the biggest soft spot for Howard and wow ...... i still have, i am very much a Williams fan but seriously TT as men nearing their 40's are smouldering HOT ..... No wonder all the 40 something women were fighting like cat and dog to be hanging over the railings .....
I did however find it a little excessive that 2 women were wearing t-shirts which said 'Robbie smash my back doors in' (with an arrow point to their backside) and one that said the same with Gary's name instead ........ Sorry but people really should be growing old gracefully ..... or not as the case may be?! I hate to say this but overall it was proper chavvy - just from looking around at the 80k + women there ......
I think my favourite moment was Relight My Fire - it was pure uptempo dancing, i've not smiled like that in a long long time and they are amazing and i'm glad i've been able to be a part of the reunion because i very much doubt TT will be doing that again as a 5 piece so it felt like that was a final piece to the puzzle ..... I think it was amazing they all sang No Regrets together too, i think it proves that they have really made up and they all are a family again
Wembley is phenomenal ..... including the prices for everything there! I was impressed with it all and i think i'd like very much to go back again and watch some kinda football match there, so if anyone ever wants to take me feel free, cos i'd be right up for going!
It was a great night, i was shattered by the end of it, the dedication for queueing for 12 + hours took its toll on me, and i've still not really recovered, or could that be a multitude of raving all night at fabric til gone 9am, and then a really long tuesday ..... Either way, this has been the most exciting few days i've had in my 'Dirty 30's' - which people are more pipe and slippers than dirty 30's .... but as the saying goes 'Things Can Only Get Better' so lets hope the 30's get slightly more interesting and give the 20's a run for their money!
Thats me done for tonight! Much Love Kisses and all that vajazzle
Me x
PS heres a little video from Take That
http://www.youtube.com/user/ClairBeSomebody#p/a/u/2/fa6fl4WQBiU
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Its been a while .......
So as the title says, its been a while since i've written one of these things, and theres no real reason for this, except for the fact that time is actually dissapearing at a stupid rate ... given the fact the world is ending in 2012 i'd kinda like time to slow down please ......
I've got no real reason for writing tonight, apart from the fact that 1) i quite enjoy it, and 2) I'm killing time til TOWIE is on ..... there's no real banter going on with twitter - thanks Spurs ...... as everyone is apparently watching 22 men kick a ball about a green field ..... So anyways in the background i've got Kerry Katona on, and is it just me but is this 'mother' on here an absolute leech or what? i'd drop the pikey with a shit tattoo on her hand on her head ..... Seriously, its a true fact we are a product of our parents, no offence ..... but look at the mother you can see why KK has turned out like she has ..... So she don't like her house .... GET OFF YOUR FAT ARSE, GET A JOB AND PAY FOR YOUR OWN GAFF ..... Dear God ........ and we wonder why this country is in the state it is .....
So anyways, apart from being a dREAMboat what else has been going on .... Well moving is top of the priorities, 6 weeks and the lease on the cottage is up and its time to shift myself over to the neighbouring side of South Woodford or thereabouts .... slightly excited about this, but seriously house hunting is so effing stressful .... But anyways, its well under way .... 6 weeks is going to come round so bloody quickly too so basically WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT!!! Pardon the pun, but yeah the manor needs to expand in size and its going to be in perfect timing for tearing the arse out of a summer of BBQ's Music and Palllllllsh ..... Whole new chapter begins now, nice new start in a good place, and yeah i'm gonna be vintage .... AND WHAT!
haha my 30th Birthday is basically a week away, and i've been building up to it in my head and now its pretty much here, i've decided i want to do as little as possible for it and thats not because i can't physically wait to start my dirty30's but more because I've realised that i just can't do everything .... Really looking forward to going for a banging dinner with the blood famalam .... hoping my Dad is gonna pull out all the stops and take me somewhere proper with my mum and my brother ..... Standard behaviour for Easter Sunday ... Mass drinking binge down brick lane ending up at Fuse .... Mainly because its easy and i know everyone will be there ... People keep on asking me what i want for my b/day and honestly its so hard to know because i dont really want much 2bh - I know i'm getting my Cocoon in the Park ticket off 2 of my friends which will be splendid but apart from that i don't really want very much! I'd like a birthday cake and a badge though!
Sorry but on this Kerry Katona show the MOTHER is stillllll whinging about her smaller house and honestly i am gobsmacked at how vile a woman could possibly be ........ she needs to stop being a leech and sort her fucking life out .....
Alright .... i've been down the Gym working my fat self out, and honestly i've been really struggling with the motivation levels, not that i think i am quite obese, but i am really not that happy with my progress you know ... the amount i've been going to the gym i should be basically anorexic now .... and do you know what i've probably lost about 3lbs since December .... its really quite de-motivating ..... however on the positive i am about 700 times fitter (physically) than i was ... but i can't really work it out, i've only managed to come to one conclusion .... I AM NOT NORMAL ...... Still i am not going to give up but i am going on a BIG detox after the birthday carnage .... i've managed a few weeks off the booze but i'm gonna actually get it out my life and if i do fall off the wagon i am only allowed a SMALL vodka and soda water ...... and another thing ... cigarettes are officially banned from my life too .....this came into effect Monday of this week and so far so good, i don't even know why i smoke, i am not addicted but i just think its somethign to do when i'm pissed out my face!
So anyways, theres a biiiiiiiiiiig weekend in London town coming up which i am slightly excited about .... Desolat comes to that new club Pulse and pretty much everyone who's anyone is going .... I am so excited to see Martin Buttrich_Live i might even wet myself before then .... The line up is ridiculous but i am most excited for this as i've not seen MB yet and all the others i have about 65485484 times already! :-) I guess its pretty much all downhill to the birthday from here on out ..... Oh well BOV!!!!
In addition to this, i am getting my arm pierced, my tattoo inked again in a few areas, and i'm gonna have a few days off work im not entirely sure what im going to do, but i need some eyelashes and im debating botox on my time off too .... my head is like a wrinkled mess ...... whoever said to grow old gracefully obviously didn't give a shit what they looked like .... while theres botox i will not be having lines in my forehead!!!!!
I've had a splendid last few weeks ..... i've spent a lot of time with some of my favourite people, and its become apparent that factually i have THE best boy and girl in my life as my best pals ....... and now the summer's literally on the horizon well i'm gonna be wearing a smile until October 4th ish .......
Oh my mother deserves a mention ....2 tickets for Take That in July for me as a little present ............ Love You Mummit ... theres a reason you are my god!
Now then ... i need to go hang out the washing and make another drink its nearly TOWIE time .........
I will blog again very soon ..... i might have something exciting to tell everyone in a few days time .... <3 <3 <3
Much Love and Stuff
ME xxxxxx
I've got no real reason for writing tonight, apart from the fact that 1) i quite enjoy it, and 2) I'm killing time til TOWIE is on ..... there's no real banter going on with twitter - thanks Spurs ...... as everyone is apparently watching 22 men kick a ball about a green field ..... So anyways in the background i've got Kerry Katona on, and is it just me but is this 'mother' on here an absolute leech or what? i'd drop the pikey with a shit tattoo on her hand on her head ..... Seriously, its a true fact we are a product of our parents, no offence ..... but look at the mother you can see why KK has turned out like she has ..... So she don't like her house .... GET OFF YOUR FAT ARSE, GET A JOB AND PAY FOR YOUR OWN GAFF ..... Dear God ........ and we wonder why this country is in the state it is .....
So anyways, apart from being a dREAMboat what else has been going on .... Well moving is top of the priorities, 6 weeks and the lease on the cottage is up and its time to shift myself over to the neighbouring side of South Woodford or thereabouts .... slightly excited about this, but seriously house hunting is so effing stressful .... But anyways, its well under way .... 6 weeks is going to come round so bloody quickly too so basically WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT!!! Pardon the pun, but yeah the manor needs to expand in size and its going to be in perfect timing for tearing the arse out of a summer of BBQ's Music and Palllllllsh ..... Whole new chapter begins now, nice new start in a good place, and yeah i'm gonna be vintage .... AND WHAT!
haha my 30th Birthday is basically a week away, and i've been building up to it in my head and now its pretty much here, i've decided i want to do as little as possible for it and thats not because i can't physically wait to start my dirty30's but more because I've realised that i just can't do everything .... Really looking forward to going for a banging dinner with the blood famalam .... hoping my Dad is gonna pull out all the stops and take me somewhere proper with my mum and my brother ..... Standard behaviour for Easter Sunday ... Mass drinking binge down brick lane ending up at Fuse .... Mainly because its easy and i know everyone will be there ... People keep on asking me what i want for my b/day and honestly its so hard to know because i dont really want much 2bh - I know i'm getting my Cocoon in the Park ticket off 2 of my friends which will be splendid but apart from that i don't really want very much! I'd like a birthday cake and a badge though!
Sorry but on this Kerry Katona show the MOTHER is stillllll whinging about her smaller house and honestly i am gobsmacked at how vile a woman could possibly be ........ she needs to stop being a leech and sort her fucking life out .....
Alright .... i've been down the Gym working my fat self out, and honestly i've been really struggling with the motivation levels, not that i think i am quite obese, but i am really not that happy with my progress you know ... the amount i've been going to the gym i should be basically anorexic now .... and do you know what i've probably lost about 3lbs since December .... its really quite de-motivating ..... however on the positive i am about 700 times fitter (physically) than i was ... but i can't really work it out, i've only managed to come to one conclusion .... I AM NOT NORMAL ...... Still i am not going to give up but i am going on a BIG detox after the birthday carnage .... i've managed a few weeks off the booze but i'm gonna actually get it out my life and if i do fall off the wagon i am only allowed a SMALL vodka and soda water ...... and another thing ... cigarettes are officially banned from my life too .....this came into effect Monday of this week and so far so good, i don't even know why i smoke, i am not addicted but i just think its somethign to do when i'm pissed out my face!
So anyways, theres a biiiiiiiiiiig weekend in London town coming up which i am slightly excited about .... Desolat comes to that new club Pulse and pretty much everyone who's anyone is going .... I am so excited to see Martin Buttrich_Live i might even wet myself before then .... The line up is ridiculous but i am most excited for this as i've not seen MB yet and all the others i have about 65485484 times already! :-) I guess its pretty much all downhill to the birthday from here on out ..... Oh well BOV!!!!
In addition to this, i am getting my arm pierced, my tattoo inked again in a few areas, and i'm gonna have a few days off work im not entirely sure what im going to do, but i need some eyelashes and im debating botox on my time off too .... my head is like a wrinkled mess ...... whoever said to grow old gracefully obviously didn't give a shit what they looked like .... while theres botox i will not be having lines in my forehead!!!!!
I've had a splendid last few weeks ..... i've spent a lot of time with some of my favourite people, and its become apparent that factually i have THE best boy and girl in my life as my best pals ....... and now the summer's literally on the horizon well i'm gonna be wearing a smile until October 4th ish .......
Oh my mother deserves a mention ....2 tickets for Take That in July for me as a little present ............ Love You Mummit ... theres a reason you are my god!
Now then ... i need to go hang out the washing and make another drink its nearly TOWIE time .........
I will blog again very soon ..... i might have something exciting to tell everyone in a few days time .... <3 <3 <3
Much Love and Stuff
ME xxxxxx
Thursday, 10 March 2011
Boy Meets Girl .....
Right do you know what the main purpose of this evenings Blog isn't to tell / bore any of you with what i've been up too lately, because to be honest its been pretty much a much of a much - Gym, Seeing my pals, Having a little Drink - generally just being me ...... But its to discuss the fact that the whole Girl Likes Boy, Boy Likes Girl situation seems to have actually lost it's meaning / importance in society today and quite frankly (and i am happy to speak on half of all women here) i am siiiiiiiiiiiiiick of it!
Ok so here's the thing ..... and i am going to put it REALLY simply : Relationships / Dating are Important ...... Games aren't.
In the last few weeks i could real a list as big as my shoe collection of females i know who have (for want of a better word) been mugged off by men ..... And the women that i know believe me are sorts .... proper nice girls (and if i'm completely honest i am going to include myself in this group too) and i am literally sitting here right now wondering what the hell has happened and why does this repeatedly happen to such amazing women.
Weirdly, it all seems to follow the same pattern (i can only assume its because the men want a shag - which boys, seriously if thats what you want, there really is no need to be keen - just be upfront!) you know the bloke is keen, the girl clearly fancies him, blatant severe flirting a date or 3 loads of texting, the odd drunken phone call, affectionate behaviour, none of this getting past 1st base malarky ..... and then BANG ...... SILENCE ....... Anyone care to share the light as to why?!
Of course i am generalising, because thats not textbook ... sometimes theres the ones who promise you dinner and romance when all they want to do is get you naked in their bed ..... note to any woman who has done that before £100 has been spent at a boaty restaurant ...... LEARN FROM IT! Sorry if i sound harsh, but if he expects sex and nothing else, you might aswell get a nice dinner out of it ....... Not that i am condoning this behaviour, but i like most women am sick of being treated in a bad way ......
One of my closest friends was due to be going on a date tomorrow night to a really posh restaurant - his suggestion i might add now isn't going ..... because this 30 year old man has decided since sunday to not call / text or reply to her .... when prior to this he was ringing, texting her practically everyday ..... She met him down the pub last Friday and ended up staying round his where he tried NOTHING on with her and was nothing but a gentleman to her, and since sunday hes completely gone on the missing list ...... Keep Your Poxy Meal MATE! I feel bad for her as he was giving out all the right signals and she wasn't too ott with him, nor was she pushy or asking anything ..... WEIRD ..... men!
Then there's the other few who have seen blokes a few times and both parties clearly like one another, so what happens .... oh yes a nice game of text tennis commences, average game lasting 12 hours ....... I don't get it ..... if you like someone why wait 90734507690746 hours until you text them back?! Again, anyone care to explain it to me .......
Now you would think that the men i am generalising about here were how old .... 18?! No ..... sadly the men i know and my friends are involved with are in the mid-late 20's and early 30's ......
What has actually happened?! Are relationships just not that important anymore, or are we all just on the look out for 'something better' so we keep our options open?! I literally have no clue ..... and nor do i think this is a one way street, because i know a few women who behave like this ...... but seriously I am getting really disillusioned by meeting people, getting involved based on events that happen around me daily to both myself and my friends .....
I went on a brilliant first date last week, with what i thought was one of the nicest men ever ....literally proper keen he was on the text all the time before during and after and then Sunday after he buckled himself he's not so much as bothered with me ....... And sorry but i am not about to go chasing him! I've got too much of a life going on to be doing all that ....... Although Tell me something - do men want to be chased?! Literally i've got no clue, and i know a lot of my friends feel the same ..........
Now don't even get me started on the ones who clearly want to have their cake and eat it, but because they have got morals, they can't do the dirty on the girl they are seeing ...... I admire the honesty there and respect ..... but seriously drop me out! Because it makes it even harder to dislike you, yet makes you seem almost like a model man ...... which techically doesn't exist in my book.
I am sitting here just thinking perhaps this crap internet based world we live in has actually killed the importance of dating and relationships?! because i remember when none of this was around us how much simpler life was ........... If i wanted to play games i'd of been a competitive athlete or something ....... If all men want is a bunk up don't promise us the world .... you really don't need to, be upfront about it, you might be surprised at what you get ...... and if you say your going to go on date 2, or take some amazing girl for dinner, then do it ..... and don't take 4874646868787 hours to ring or text her about it, because women only tend to get in a mood if you break a promise ..... if you haven't said lets go for dinner on friday, then she won't get in a mood ..... it really isn't rocket science you know!
I'm not gonna go on any longer .... i think you get the point i'm trying to make .... and for any amazing men who don't fall into this category, like some of my boy pals .... Sorry i dont mean to offend you - but the women in your lives are VERY lucky to have you!
X
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
So This Is Where I've Been .......
Feel like i've not written a proper blog in ages, and i've been saying that i need to write some shizzle about what i've been up to etc .... which if i am completely honest hasn't been that much really - i'm turning into a right bore of late & feel like i've just been working working working with some Gym thrown in for good measure.
Ok well then maybe thats not all i've been doing but it actually feels like that right now.
Currently I am not watching the Brit Awards, slightly fuming that its on at the same time as Big Fat Gypsy Wedding to be honest like i can't quite believe it clashes, but i have been religiously watching the gypsys for my own wedding inspiration ...... Yes okay i'm joking, but I am defo going to Appleby 2011 - someone must want to grab me surely?!
Right so what have i actually been doing - well i am morphing into part of the fixtures and fittings of David Lloyd - I am spending 5 days out of 7 down there and if i'm honest, i'm not really seeing the results as yet, however i am well aware that rome wasn't built in a day & if you saw the photos that i made Emma take of me 3 weeks ago you would understand that i am very much a work in progress .... However i've made a lot of positive changes to my lifestyle, as i said i would at the start for this year ... Most people go on that whole i'm on a january detox i did say that it wasn't like that for me, i am on a lifestyle change .... and i can honestly say its been the easiest thing i've ever done ..... This year so far i've given up drinking like a fish, staying out all weekend with no sleep, crisps & just generally eating badly ..... I'm not saying i'm perfect because there is sa lot of room still to make more changes but i feel like i am on the right path to hit 30 and look and feel better than ever before.
However, i am not an angel and i still managed to go out Sunday and show exactly how over qualified i really am for a starring role in Booze Britain .... its okay though as i've spoken to my PT this evening and he's explained to me that drinking once a month is absolutely fine he even actually said to me just make sure you get totally bladdered ...... So once a month it is then! hahaha
Oh yeah the date i was going on, well he's not around still as is busy with work etc but i think he's home at the weekend which means ive gotta make my mind up .... but how funny is this, theres this other bloke who i royally, and i mean royally messed around over the summer last year and if i'm honest i don't really know why i really messed him around when i look back on it now, because he was nothing but nice to me ... Well anyways after reading the section in company magazine about dating and how even bad dates are good i think ive decided that i'm gonna defo go out with no1 .... and weirdly the bloke i messed around last year i've also decided i want to go out with him too ..... i was really bored at work last monday, and i've got him on my msn, so for once in like about 8 months i logged in and decided to talk to him and say hello - i would of actually text him if i didnt lose his number when i broke my phone but couldn't ... anyways sure as eggs are eggs he gave me his number again ... i've not seen/spoken to him since last august & for some strange reason he's still as keen to actually take me out ... Well he was, and i rang him up for a chat the other ight and we agreed to go out last friday, which actually never happened, we had to reschedule it as he had to work ... Yep yet another music / industry type (when will i ever bloody learn) and no before anyone asks i didn't get moody or peeved about it because unlike most i can accept that duty calls and sometimes you can't help it ..... So we've rescheduled ... but since then he's done a really (and i mean really) terrific (god i love that word) job of making me want to text him by being 'busy' most of the time ....... My natural stubborn streak won't give in ... but seriously hats off to the chap for getting me interested by playing me at my own game!!!
Valentines Day ............. what a croc of shite! for the record though i had THE best valentines day ever - woke up without a hangover, which i clearly deserved to actually have, work went off without a hitch, i had a brilliant work out down the Gym & then 2 of my girls both come over and we all had dinner together, however they come over because their divvy boyfriends managed to ruin Valentines Day for them by just being unthoughtful typical men. Personally i've never been a believer in Valentines .... I believe in the business brain behind it that rapes the consumer market and makes a lot of money ....but really do you need a specific day to make an effort to show someone that you love how you feel .... NO is the simple and short answer .... However i'm not gonna lie to you, i've always said to my previous boyfriends in regard to V-Day ... 'Save your money its my birthday in 7 weeks and i'd much rather you use the money for that to get me something better' .....
My friend Max has surprised everyone and flown home from Oz a few months early, he told me middle of last week and i was buzzing with excitement and bursting to tell everyone, but i was sworn to secrecy and i managed to hold it all in ... was the most random moment on sunday when i saw him tho i nearly suffocated him where i was cuddling him so much! totally smothered him!!! :-) it was a great day and he looks amazing and its brilliant to have him home, for however long that will be and that i can honestly say has been the highlight of the last 2 weeks for me as i literally haven't been out the house ..... Raving shoes are defo in for 're-heeling' currently!!!!!
Feeling REALLY REALLY happy right now, healthy body / healthy mind and i'm doing lots of work on things i want to do right now .... Stacy has told me I need to write more - not specifically about my life like in these blogs, but i was showing her some of the things i've written before, some which is fiction, some which is personal about stuff / events and some is just some PR Blurb ..... So i think i am going to do it - write more that is but i am going to start off with writing about things which make me feel uncomfortable .... Once i've tackled this, i might make it public viewing so if people are interested they can read it ............ The other thing i'm working on is my CIMA qualification ... its about time i actually stop dragging my sorry arse and get into gear with this, because it just makes sense ..............
Anyways, enough with the word vomit for one night, i think i've rambled enough! I'll have some more to write about i'm sure by the end of the week, as a little opportunity presented itself to me today and i'll probably be dying to tell you all about it by Saturday!
Happy Tuesday Boys and Girls
Love From ME! xxx
Ok well then maybe thats not all i've been doing but it actually feels like that right now.
Currently I am not watching the Brit Awards, slightly fuming that its on at the same time as Big Fat Gypsy Wedding to be honest like i can't quite believe it clashes, but i have been religiously watching the gypsys for my own wedding inspiration ...... Yes okay i'm joking, but I am defo going to Appleby 2011 - someone must want to grab me surely?!
Right so what have i actually been doing - well i am morphing into part of the fixtures and fittings of David Lloyd - I am spending 5 days out of 7 down there and if i'm honest, i'm not really seeing the results as yet, however i am well aware that rome wasn't built in a day & if you saw the photos that i made Emma take of me 3 weeks ago you would understand that i am very much a work in progress .... However i've made a lot of positive changes to my lifestyle, as i said i would at the start for this year ... Most people go on that whole i'm on a january detox i did say that it wasn't like that for me, i am on a lifestyle change .... and i can honestly say its been the easiest thing i've ever done ..... This year so far i've given up drinking like a fish, staying out all weekend with no sleep, crisps & just generally eating badly ..... I'm not saying i'm perfect because there is sa lot of room still to make more changes but i feel like i am on the right path to hit 30 and look and feel better than ever before.
However, i am not an angel and i still managed to go out Sunday and show exactly how over qualified i really am for a starring role in Booze Britain .... its okay though as i've spoken to my PT this evening and he's explained to me that drinking once a month is absolutely fine he even actually said to me just make sure you get totally bladdered ...... So once a month it is then! hahaha
Oh yeah the date i was going on, well he's not around still as is busy with work etc but i think he's home at the weekend which means ive gotta make my mind up .... but how funny is this, theres this other bloke who i royally, and i mean royally messed around over the summer last year and if i'm honest i don't really know why i really messed him around when i look back on it now, because he was nothing but nice to me ... Well anyways after reading the section in company magazine about dating and how even bad dates are good i think ive decided that i'm gonna defo go out with no1 .... and weirdly the bloke i messed around last year i've also decided i want to go out with him too ..... i was really bored at work last monday, and i've got him on my msn, so for once in like about 8 months i logged in and decided to talk to him and say hello - i would of actually text him if i didnt lose his number when i broke my phone but couldn't ... anyways sure as eggs are eggs he gave me his number again ... i've not seen/spoken to him since last august & for some strange reason he's still as keen to actually take me out ... Well he was, and i rang him up for a chat the other ight and we agreed to go out last friday, which actually never happened, we had to reschedule it as he had to work ... Yep yet another music / industry type (when will i ever bloody learn) and no before anyone asks i didn't get moody or peeved about it because unlike most i can accept that duty calls and sometimes you can't help it ..... So we've rescheduled ... but since then he's done a really (and i mean really) terrific (god i love that word) job of making me want to text him by being 'busy' most of the time ....... My natural stubborn streak won't give in ... but seriously hats off to the chap for getting me interested by playing me at my own game!!!
Valentines Day ............. what a croc of shite! for the record though i had THE best valentines day ever - woke up without a hangover, which i clearly deserved to actually have, work went off without a hitch, i had a brilliant work out down the Gym & then 2 of my girls both come over and we all had dinner together, however they come over because their divvy boyfriends managed to ruin Valentines Day for them by just being unthoughtful typical men. Personally i've never been a believer in Valentines .... I believe in the business brain behind it that rapes the consumer market and makes a lot of money ....but really do you need a specific day to make an effort to show someone that you love how you feel .... NO is the simple and short answer .... However i'm not gonna lie to you, i've always said to my previous boyfriends in regard to V-Day ... 'Save your money its my birthday in 7 weeks and i'd much rather you use the money for that to get me something better' .....
My friend Max has surprised everyone and flown home from Oz a few months early, he told me middle of last week and i was buzzing with excitement and bursting to tell everyone, but i was sworn to secrecy and i managed to hold it all in ... was the most random moment on sunday when i saw him tho i nearly suffocated him where i was cuddling him so much! totally smothered him!!! :-) it was a great day and he looks amazing and its brilliant to have him home, for however long that will be and that i can honestly say has been the highlight of the last 2 weeks for me as i literally haven't been out the house ..... Raving shoes are defo in for 're-heeling' currently!!!!!
Feeling REALLY REALLY happy right now, healthy body / healthy mind and i'm doing lots of work on things i want to do right now .... Stacy has told me I need to write more - not specifically about my life like in these blogs, but i was showing her some of the things i've written before, some which is fiction, some which is personal about stuff / events and some is just some PR Blurb ..... So i think i am going to do it - write more that is but i am going to start off with writing about things which make me feel uncomfortable .... Once i've tackled this, i might make it public viewing so if people are interested they can read it ............ The other thing i'm working on is my CIMA qualification ... its about time i actually stop dragging my sorry arse and get into gear with this, because it just makes sense ..............
Anyways, enough with the word vomit for one night, i think i've rambled enough! I'll have some more to write about i'm sure by the end of the week, as a little opportunity presented itself to me today and i'll probably be dying to tell you all about it by Saturday!
Happy Tuesday Boys and Girls
Love From ME! xxx
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Date Anyone?!
Right so this installant of my life this evening is about dating ...... because the thing is today I've been asked on one I think, and well typically I am sitting here in a right quandary about it, mainly because I am not entirely sure i want to go (which if I'm honest is a problem that seems to be consistent in my life)
So I've decided that I would try and explain what exactly goes through my head & what this exact situation with this bloke is all about.
Firstly can I just explain to you about this fella ..... I've sorta known him on and off bout 9 months, and well at the first instance i wasn't that keen then, but i knew he kinda was, but you know what its like the texting and calling like anything dies down - and in all honesty i am completely incapable of asking a man out - i will explain more about that later .... then i lose my phone and all the numbers with it, and i didn't actually save his number in the first place ..... So randomly 2 weeks ago i am in the gym and a whatsapp appears on my phone, i naturally respond 'who is this' and then the conversation starts, although i am still not really bothered but i'm just going to carry on talking as well i want to be polite you get me? Anyhow, as always these things kinda progress and he requests me back on facebook (previously deleted him during a huge friend cull) so i kinda think errrm ok i will accept you, but he's on complete lockdown - therefore not able to see any of my photos, because there are just some people i don't want to see all my photos on there, for very specific reasons ..... This bloke is older than me ( i know miracle right) and well when i think about some of the things i i like to do and places i go, i'm just not sure we have anything - and i mean anything really in common. But he's got a good job and obviously isn't a child, and built like a man should be ...... but something just isn't clicking in my head here people.
Anyway i'm side tracking i need to explain this whole lets go on a date thing - so from facebook, he's got my skype addy and added me there, so i accepted him and well he's spent considerable time talking to me on there, and in one of the first proper conversations in ages he explains that he has recently been 'dumped' - so naturally i ask 'how long was u together' blah blah blah, and he tells me 2 weeks .... 2 weeks?! are u actually fucking serious, anyway look who am i to judge - so i well humour the conversation ..... he explains to me that he is a bit gutted because he did quite like her quickly and all that, but as women often do, she just wasn't feeling it apparently..... So already in my head i'm think oh he's been dumped so what does he do, oh he makes contact with me .... Well please let me just say i do not play second fiddle or am anyone's second best everrrrr .... so i am already sceptical about the while thing, plus with not being 'sure' now he's asked me out today well i just don't know what to do.
So here's the thing ... is it right to go on a date with someone that your 'not sure' on in the hope that going on the date will make you like them, or is that a waste of both parties time ... because that's kinda what/how i think what is the point of going on a date with someone in the hope i might fancy them after? Surely you shouldn't have to force yourself to like someone?
I've got this firm belief you should immediately be attracted and fancy them immediately ....... there is zero point in wasting your time of your not sure because then you have to have that bloody awkward shall we go on a second date scenario and then i would have to say 'no'
On the other side of this though, what if my thoughts / beliefs are actually wrong ..... Please don't get me wrong, this particular guy could not be introduced to my friends, as there literally would be no common ground & i think its very important for any potentials to be alright fitting in where applicable with your mates, and also if i'm completely truthful I very much doubt i will be telling him some of the things i like to do, and have done previously, which can't be good .... As i can't really be myself ?! I hope i'm making sense with what i'm saying here.
In my life i have never been capable of actually asking anyone on a date myself, is this slightly strange? I'm not so sure, all my friends say if there's someone i want to go on a date with don't wait for them to ask, get in there first but honestly i don't think i handle rejection very well which is why i've never actually done it myself - i know this might seem a little strange coming from someone like me, but truthfully i am useless .... and well if i actually fancy someone god help myself, i turn into a 15 year old school girl and actually just end up basically being mates with everyone because that i find easy to do. The thing is too, i don't often really fancy someone or anyone actually manages to really get my attention - it happens very few and far between ..... Like everyone i love the thrill of the chase, and this might be a horrid thing to say and love life suicide but 'what if there's someone better' ALWAYS goes through my head .... Now considering i don't actually go on any dates really, i think i'm proving my own theory wrong ....... Perhaps i should just give someone a chance but in reality I don't seem to be able to do that .... and well I'm destined for a lonely life alone!!!!
I suppose it boils down to the fact that i do to this day believe when the right person asks me out on a date, i'll know ..... and what's the point in wasting time on the wrong ones, when i could be focusing on my life and achieving stuff and doing things i want to do until that time ........
BUT then again ........ what if i am totally wrong & if i could grow some balls and actually ask the one person out who's been sitting on my mind for a while now, perhaps there would be a completely different subject matter to write about ............
Now theres some food for thought!
x
So I've decided that I would try and explain what exactly goes through my head & what this exact situation with this bloke is all about.
Firstly can I just explain to you about this fella ..... I've sorta known him on and off bout 9 months, and well at the first instance i wasn't that keen then, but i knew he kinda was, but you know what its like the texting and calling like anything dies down - and in all honesty i am completely incapable of asking a man out - i will explain more about that later .... then i lose my phone and all the numbers with it, and i didn't actually save his number in the first place ..... So randomly 2 weeks ago i am in the gym and a whatsapp appears on my phone, i naturally respond 'who is this' and then the conversation starts, although i am still not really bothered but i'm just going to carry on talking as well i want to be polite you get me? Anyhow, as always these things kinda progress and he requests me back on facebook (previously deleted him during a huge friend cull) so i kinda think errrm ok i will accept you, but he's on complete lockdown - therefore not able to see any of my photos, because there are just some people i don't want to see all my photos on there, for very specific reasons ..... This bloke is older than me ( i know miracle right) and well when i think about some of the things i i like to do and places i go, i'm just not sure we have anything - and i mean anything really in common. But he's got a good job and obviously isn't a child, and built like a man should be ...... but something just isn't clicking in my head here people.
Anyway i'm side tracking i need to explain this whole lets go on a date thing - so from facebook, he's got my skype addy and added me there, so i accepted him and well he's spent considerable time talking to me on there, and in one of the first proper conversations in ages he explains that he has recently been 'dumped' - so naturally i ask 'how long was u together' blah blah blah, and he tells me 2 weeks .... 2 weeks?! are u actually fucking serious, anyway look who am i to judge - so i well humour the conversation ..... he explains to me that he is a bit gutted because he did quite like her quickly and all that, but as women often do, she just wasn't feeling it apparently..... So already in my head i'm think oh he's been dumped so what does he do, oh he makes contact with me .... Well please let me just say i do not play second fiddle or am anyone's second best everrrrr .... so i am already sceptical about the while thing, plus with not being 'sure' now he's asked me out today well i just don't know what to do.
So here's the thing ... is it right to go on a date with someone that your 'not sure' on in the hope that going on the date will make you like them, or is that a waste of both parties time ... because that's kinda what/how i think what is the point of going on a date with someone in the hope i might fancy them after? Surely you shouldn't have to force yourself to like someone?
I've got this firm belief you should immediately be attracted and fancy them immediately ....... there is zero point in wasting your time of your not sure because then you have to have that bloody awkward shall we go on a second date scenario and then i would have to say 'no'
On the other side of this though, what if my thoughts / beliefs are actually wrong ..... Please don't get me wrong, this particular guy could not be introduced to my friends, as there literally would be no common ground & i think its very important for any potentials to be alright fitting in where applicable with your mates, and also if i'm completely truthful I very much doubt i will be telling him some of the things i like to do, and have done previously, which can't be good .... As i can't really be myself ?! I hope i'm making sense with what i'm saying here.
In my life i have never been capable of actually asking anyone on a date myself, is this slightly strange? I'm not so sure, all my friends say if there's someone i want to go on a date with don't wait for them to ask, get in there first but honestly i don't think i handle rejection very well which is why i've never actually done it myself - i know this might seem a little strange coming from someone like me, but truthfully i am useless .... and well if i actually fancy someone god help myself, i turn into a 15 year old school girl and actually just end up basically being mates with everyone because that i find easy to do. The thing is too, i don't often really fancy someone or anyone actually manages to really get my attention - it happens very few and far between ..... Like everyone i love the thrill of the chase, and this might be a horrid thing to say and love life suicide but 'what if there's someone better' ALWAYS goes through my head .... Now considering i don't actually go on any dates really, i think i'm proving my own theory wrong ....... Perhaps i should just give someone a chance but in reality I don't seem to be able to do that .... and well I'm destined for a lonely life alone!!!!
I suppose it boils down to the fact that i do to this day believe when the right person asks me out on a date, i'll know ..... and what's the point in wasting time on the wrong ones, when i could be focusing on my life and achieving stuff and doing things i want to do until that time ........
BUT then again ........ what if i am totally wrong & if i could grow some balls and actually ask the one person out who's been sitting on my mind for a while now, perhaps there would be a completely different subject matter to write about ............
Now theres some food for thought!
x
Monday, 31 January 2011
Falling off the Wagon
Bonjourno World. ......
Last day of January (errr where the hell did 31 days go?!) feel like blink and i've missed it all - except the piss poor having no money longest month in the world ever part ..... Anyway how are you all?! Hopefully feeling chirpy and not too shabby from a weekend .....
So then, i only managed my 14 day detox didn't i .... not a drop of drink for 2 whole weeks - and yes i am proud of that due to the fact i love a glass .... soz bottle of wine most evenings! However - Saturday night i ended up back in Chelmsford town for a naughty really good little basement party .... and ended up sleeping at my old flat there too, which is quite random - my friend Amy now lives there so had a little preparty there where i didn't just fall off the wagon, but i dived off the wagon and ended up in the gutter before we even left the flat i'd drank half a bottle of baileys, half a bottle of apple sourz and was drinking vodka neat, and then mixing it with lucozade .... Soz about that but if your going to do something, do it in style ya get me ?!
This venue i went to was reamo, not even joking i've been in there a few times but it seemed like i was in a completely different venue, the music was ridiculously good and i was as drunk as drunk could be ... soz but didn't eat did i .... however, what establishment only has 1 yes i said ONE toilet for females ... LOOOOOOOOONG TING!! personally i don't even think 7 toilets for a busy venue is enough for a womens bathroom, so anyway 30 mins queuing for the toilet wasn't on my to-do list do u know what i mean!!! ridiculous ..... so anyways, i don't really remember much else about the night until i woke up on the sofa round my friends house with the washing up bowl next to me on the floor - i know what your all thinking, and i'm thinking the same ... Clearly was paraletic ... So pieced together the night from what Emma and Amy told me i'd been up too .... i went into the bathroom and found my eyelashes on the floor (i know, i know nice) and then in what used to be my old room was all my possessions strewn across the floor ..... god only knows what state i was in, i was guessing from the eyelashes on the floor i'd ripped them off and proceeded to be sick .... to which Amy confirmed - having made her rub my back in order to make myself sick .... how did i end up in such a state ..... and do you know what makes it even worse Amy told me i ate 4 slices of WHITE BREAD TOAST .... fucks sake Trebes, you've been ridiculously good for 2 weeks on eating and then you go and do this to yourself .... my only saving grace was i dragged my sorry unfit backside to the gym saturday morning and smashed all my previous personal bests on all the machines, i really did work myself hard ... so hopefully i've broken even .....
Needless to say, i still don't want to drink, and i am happy that i dont have to drink now until i go to Liverpool in March to see Luciano ... which i am less than impressed that Lewis isn't coming ... bloody DJ's and their bookings ..... Booked my train and my tickets however .... and i'm on Luciano countdown for first event of 2011 ..... <3 <3 <3 <3 I Love Him Don't I !!!! xxxx
Driving back from Chelmsford in my car, which btw i am loving having back, listening to some tunes decided that i'd pop to Fuse seeing as D.E.S boys were warming up and then Geddes was playing only wanted to go for a couple of hours , see the famalam as you do! So bloody glad i went aren't i ..... it was amaaaaazing from the off .... i love fuse when you turn up and its banging from 3pm ... cos days like that just stay good all day ... and what was even better, i was driving so it was a sensible sunday for me & i left just before Geddes finished and i think the man is bloody clever!! i never normally pay that much attention when i hear him at Mullet - usually cos my mind isn't quite all there due to one reason or another but honestly he's up there in one of my fave top london DJ's it has to be said .......
Hahahahahahaha ... biggest achievement ever was getting to the Gym for 7am today for my PT sesh (yes i want a medal and what?!!!?!) ... except it wasn't quite a sesh, more a chat a few exercises for my knee and some talk on eating food (proper good food i mean) but let me just tell you this ..... I have never been more disciplined in my life ever as i am right now ... probably something to do with the fact i am paying David Lloyd in excess of £200 a month for my gym membership and my PT ..... Who is a new PT, as my one left, and well 2 sleeve tattoo's how are you ...... jesus i am a sucker for a sleeve tattoo as it is .... i never normally look at the face, just the sleeve is normally enough .... However he is actually bloody brilliant .... he's going to re-do my training plan to accommodate my knee and get it working better and help me get just basically get in shape properly but i actually have learned a lot from him today and i'm bare happy that ive changed trainer to him now too..... I'm not gonna lie to you though i am sitting at work and i am struggling right now .... this insomnia malarky isn't the one i can tell you i am longing for a night like when i used to just lay o my bed at 8pm and drift off to sleep for 12 hours ......
Oh an do you know what ..... theres someone on my facebook who's been messaging me a lot from Chelmsford and you know when u just get this feeling that they want to take you out on a date and you reaaaaallllly don't even really like them let alone fancy them, but you've known them forever so u cant just delete them .... yeah well i've got one of those and in all honesty i need people to understand something ..... i left Chelmsford and everyone in it (except my Mum, Dad and Brother) behind .... and i am not the 15 year old teenager you used to know, so i'm basically just ignoring all these silly little lets have a bet and if i lose i'll take u out for dinner situations ..... HELLO NOT INTERESTED SOZ! And don't you just love it on your newsfeed when someone becomes single ... hahahahahahahaha thats all i can say ...... nothing like airing your dirty laundry in public is there ..... this people is why i will never entertain a relationship status on my facebook ...... its my business not yours .........
Now then while ive been writing this which has actually taken me nearly 2 hours, i've been on skype video to my parents who are at the happiest place on earth (disney in Florida ... i know i'm jel too) and given them a little shopping list which i am now backing up with specific visual instructions so they dont get the wrong stuff ..... you know macbook pro, uggs, anything marc jacobs and some new running trainers et all ...... Hello Macbook pro getting it in america 30th birthday present how are you ......
Better run as i need to send some emails now .... have a good week kiddies and remember, if you cant be good, be careful ... and if you can't be careful, at least get a phone number or remember their name! but most of all .... make it count! hahahaha
xxxx
Last day of January (errr where the hell did 31 days go?!) feel like blink and i've missed it all - except the piss poor having no money longest month in the world ever part ..... Anyway how are you all?! Hopefully feeling chirpy and not too shabby from a weekend .....
So then, i only managed my 14 day detox didn't i .... not a drop of drink for 2 whole weeks - and yes i am proud of that due to the fact i love a glass .... soz bottle of wine most evenings! However - Saturday night i ended up back in Chelmsford town for a naughty really good little basement party .... and ended up sleeping at my old flat there too, which is quite random - my friend Amy now lives there so had a little preparty there where i didn't just fall off the wagon, but i dived off the wagon and ended up in the gutter before we even left the flat i'd drank half a bottle of baileys, half a bottle of apple sourz and was drinking vodka neat, and then mixing it with lucozade .... Soz about that but if your going to do something, do it in style ya get me ?!
This venue i went to was reamo, not even joking i've been in there a few times but it seemed like i was in a completely different venue, the music was ridiculously good and i was as drunk as drunk could be ... soz but didn't eat did i .... however, what establishment only has 1 yes i said ONE toilet for females ... LOOOOOOOOONG TING!! personally i don't even think 7 toilets for a busy venue is enough for a womens bathroom, so anyway 30 mins queuing for the toilet wasn't on my to-do list do u know what i mean!!! ridiculous ..... so anyways, i don't really remember much else about the night until i woke up on the sofa round my friends house with the washing up bowl next to me on the floor - i know what your all thinking, and i'm thinking the same ... Clearly was paraletic ... So pieced together the night from what Emma and Amy told me i'd been up too .... i went into the bathroom and found my eyelashes on the floor (i know, i know nice) and then in what used to be my old room was all my possessions strewn across the floor ..... god only knows what state i was in, i was guessing from the eyelashes on the floor i'd ripped them off and proceeded to be sick .... to which Amy confirmed - having made her rub my back in order to make myself sick .... how did i end up in such a state ..... and do you know what makes it even worse Amy told me i ate 4 slices of WHITE BREAD TOAST .... fucks sake Trebes, you've been ridiculously good for 2 weeks on eating and then you go and do this to yourself .... my only saving grace was i dragged my sorry unfit backside to the gym saturday morning and smashed all my previous personal bests on all the machines, i really did work myself hard ... so hopefully i've broken even .....
Needless to say, i still don't want to drink, and i am happy that i dont have to drink now until i go to Liverpool in March to see Luciano ... which i am less than impressed that Lewis isn't coming ... bloody DJ's and their bookings ..... Booked my train and my tickets however .... and i'm on Luciano countdown for first event of 2011 ..... <3 <3 <3 <3 I Love Him Don't I !!!! xxxx
Driving back from Chelmsford in my car, which btw i am loving having back, listening to some tunes decided that i'd pop to Fuse seeing as D.E.S boys were warming up and then Geddes was playing only wanted to go for a couple of hours , see the famalam as you do! So bloody glad i went aren't i ..... it was amaaaaazing from the off .... i love fuse when you turn up and its banging from 3pm ... cos days like that just stay good all day ... and what was even better, i was driving so it was a sensible sunday for me & i left just before Geddes finished and i think the man is bloody clever!! i never normally pay that much attention when i hear him at Mullet - usually cos my mind isn't quite all there due to one reason or another but honestly he's up there in one of my fave top london DJ's it has to be said .......
Hahahahahahaha ... biggest achievement ever was getting to the Gym for 7am today for my PT sesh (yes i want a medal and what?!!!?!) ... except it wasn't quite a sesh, more a chat a few exercises for my knee and some talk on eating food (proper good food i mean) but let me just tell you this ..... I have never been more disciplined in my life ever as i am right now ... probably something to do with the fact i am paying David Lloyd in excess of £200 a month for my gym membership and my PT ..... Who is a new PT, as my one left, and well 2 sleeve tattoo's how are you ...... jesus i am a sucker for a sleeve tattoo as it is .... i never normally look at the face, just the sleeve is normally enough .... However he is actually bloody brilliant .... he's going to re-do my training plan to accommodate my knee and get it working better and help me get just basically get in shape properly but i actually have learned a lot from him today and i'm bare happy that ive changed trainer to him now too..... I'm not gonna lie to you though i am sitting at work and i am struggling right now .... this insomnia malarky isn't the one i can tell you i am longing for a night like when i used to just lay o my bed at 8pm and drift off to sleep for 12 hours ......
Oh an do you know what ..... theres someone on my facebook who's been messaging me a lot from Chelmsford and you know when u just get this feeling that they want to take you out on a date and you reaaaaallllly don't even really like them let alone fancy them, but you've known them forever so u cant just delete them .... yeah well i've got one of those and in all honesty i need people to understand something ..... i left Chelmsford and everyone in it (except my Mum, Dad and Brother) behind .... and i am not the 15 year old teenager you used to know, so i'm basically just ignoring all these silly little lets have a bet and if i lose i'll take u out for dinner situations ..... HELLO NOT INTERESTED SOZ! And don't you just love it on your newsfeed when someone becomes single ... hahahahahahahaha thats all i can say ...... nothing like airing your dirty laundry in public is there ..... this people is why i will never entertain a relationship status on my facebook ...... its my business not yours .........
Now then while ive been writing this which has actually taken me nearly 2 hours, i've been on skype video to my parents who are at the happiest place on earth (disney in Florida ... i know i'm jel too) and given them a little shopping list which i am now backing up with specific visual instructions so they dont get the wrong stuff ..... you know macbook pro, uggs, anything marc jacobs and some new running trainers et all ...... Hello Macbook pro getting it in america 30th birthday present how are you ......
Better run as i need to send some emails now .... have a good week kiddies and remember, if you cant be good, be careful ... and if you can't be careful, at least get a phone number or remember their name! but most of all .... make it count! hahahaha
xxxx
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